Is it about winning, or about how you run the race?

Like most of us, I grew up learning fairly quickly how to win attention and approval, and by the time I was 5 I'd rehearsed it into an art form.

With out even trying, my young sister was working steadily on her own 'winning formula'. It was very different from mine but equally as effective. Being a petite curly headed blond with the gift of the gab, her tactic was to be cute and engaging: and it worked, every time!

Mine on the other hand (probably to gain my fathers approval) was to be enquiring and decisive as I knew these were qualities he admired. It was my winning formula and kept me ahead of the game and in control. And because it always worked, I applied it time after time after time after time. Where she played the cute and chatty card, I won my battles by being enquiring, decisive and quick to act.

But just because you have a winning formula (we all do incidentally) doesn't make it the best strategy for us. Taken to extremes, my sister risked being perceived as a bit dizzy and shallow (which she isn't), and I of being seen as cynical and closed to others input.

So if an habitual strategy learned as a child the isn't the best formula for an adult, then I need to ask myself why do I continue to allow a 5 year old to run my life? Surely there's a better way?

For me there is. It involves a deliberate decision to be open to the possibility of living a life where I'm instinctively positive and open to council. And by giving you (& all my friends, acquaintances and family) permission to let me know if I'm falling back into old my ways.

Will it change anything? I believe it will, but this way you'll be the judge, not me.