Is it about winning, or about how you run the race?

Like most of us, I grew up learning fairly quickly how to win attention and approval, and by the time I was 5 I'd rehearsed it into an art form.

With out even trying, my young sister was working steadily on her own 'winning formula'. It was very different from mine but equally as effective. Being a petite curly headed blond with the gift of the gab, her tactic was to be cute and engaging: and it worked, every time!

Mine on the other hand (probably to gain my fathers approval) was to be enquiring and decisive as I knew these were qualities he admired. It was my winning formula and kept me ahead of the game and in control. And because it always worked, I applied it time after time after time after time. Where she played the cute and chatty card, I won my battles by being enquiring, decisive and quick to act.

But just because you have a winning formula (we all do incidentally) doesn't make it the best strategy for us. Taken to extremes, my sister risked being perceived as a bit dizzy and shallow (which she isn't), and I of being seen as cynical and closed to others input.

So if an habitual strategy learned as a child the isn't the best formula for an adult, then I need to ask myself why do I continue to allow a 5 year old to run my life? Surely there's a better way?

For me there is. It involves a deliberate decision to be open to the possibility of living a life where I'm instinctively positive and open to council. And by giving you (& all my friends, acquaintances and family) permission to let me know if I'm falling back into old my ways.

Will it change anything? I believe it will, but this way you'll be the judge, not me.

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Jimmy Carter had the right idea

James Hider's article, 'Single state solution edges nearer' (Dompost 3/3/09) may be revolutionary but its by no means a new idea dating back to the MacDonald White Paper of 1939. Raising it again now does however expose the dilemma currently facing Israel.

Under military occupation, the Jewish State has laid claim to much of Palestine, built extensively on it and secured it's hold over its west bank settlements by force. Huge steel walls and military check points honeycomb much of the landscape, leaving only discombobulated pockets of land, separated from each other and entirely dependent on Israel's good will for the provision of water electricity and sewage disposal.

Not much of a bargaining chip to offer Palestine by way of compensation.

Maybe its time for Israel to grasp the nettle. Separated development did not work for South Africa and will not be any more successful for Israel. To quote President Jimmy Carter, 'Unless both sides win, no agreement can be permanent'

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